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     就叫他小李吧。那会儿大学刚毕业不久,分到一个国家爱理不理的事业单位,懵懵懂懂。懵懵懂懂的意思就是没有什么生活目标,既不懂得为房、车等现实目标奋斗,也没有步步高升的想法,除了清闲的工作,最忙的事就是写诗。写了一两年后,单位里分进来一个女生,高挑、性感,嗓音磁性,青春勃发。一下子情窦大开,诗写不动了,写情书,给该女孩写了几封之后,没有反应,不知效果,最后使出杀手锏,写了一封书,约女孩见面,见则成功,不见则失败。未遂。

  于是崩溃,沮丧、羞愧和痛心,经常在工作期间发出一声长啸。这一切被同一办公室的同事Jessica看在眼里。Jessica,已婚少妇,未生子,丰满,眼神灵动,颇有风韵。Jessica开始善意取笑,时也安慰。小李见事也败露,内心又憋屈,便将Jessica视为知己,倾心相谈。

  中秋之夜,Jessica知小李一个人在单位,知道他孤单,便约他一起到公园赏月。小李感到前所未有的温暖、新鲜,更重要的是,先前单恋未遂的痛楚,此刻已经慢慢淡去,另一种情愫发生在他和Jessica之间。虽然小李隐隐觉得这种能量转换颇为不妥,但相当快慰,并且不能自拔。也就是这一夜,小李和Jessica的关系深入一步。

  之后突飞猛进,小李有了从未有过的新鲜的、又夹杂着不安的感觉,他总是预感到不妥的关系中埋着地雷。终于有一天,Jessica跟小李道:“我老公发现了。”

  Jessica的老公从一些证据中得知Jessica有外遇,但不知是谁,与Jessica发生激烈冲突。Jessica负气出走,不回家。小李也陷入人生中最复杂的一种情感漩涡中,想退出,却难以抽身。于是小李和Jessica开始躲避到偏僻的出租房里,决定破罐子破摔,山盟海誓。Jessica准备着跟老公谈离婚,小李过上了男小三的充实生活:洗菜、做饭,为Jessica洗衣裳,很贱很猥琐很惶惶不安地打听Jessica的进展,并期待和Jessica组成新的家庭。巨蟹是很恋家的。

  一段隐秘的、激情燃烧的岁月过后,有一天,Jessica告诉小李一个不幸的消息:丈夫向她求和、讨饶,并希望维持婚姻,Jessica也觉得和小李不会有好结果。小李陷入比前一次单恋未遂更癫狂的状态,并与Jessica发生时而暴烈时而温柔的长久的暗战,内心时不时经受鲜血的洗礼。大概不到一年,小李便从该单位辞职了。

  跟朋友喝茶,谈起二奶、小三之类的颇具文化含量的话题,让我突然回想起发生在自己身上的这一段往事。自以为在现实中活得很地道很厚道的我,居然当过一个贱兮兮的男小三,打死我也不会相信自己有这个身份---人是多么健忘的动物。在成为自由作家之前,我是个跳槽爱好者,每一次跳槽,表面上是职场原因,实际上多半有男女关系搞不清楚羞愧而逃的原因。---顺藤摸瓜,男小三浮出水面之后,人生的隐秘部分就豁然开朗了。


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